1st Journal Jar post!!

I am very excited. I posted earlier about my journal jar that I had gotten a few years back as a Christmas gift and how I hadn't had a chance to use it yet. Well, I decided last night that today would be the perfect day. So this will be the first post from my journal jar. I got it out of the cabinet last night, and shook it all around. I even dumped about half of it out in the floor, mixed up the slips of paper and then picked a topic without looking. Here's what I got:

Did you wish you had more brothers or sisters? Why?

I was so excited when I saw that this was the first question out of the journal jar! Why you ask?, because I absolutely love my brother and I love talking about him!

So here's the scoop on myself and my siblings:
My Mom is Joyce and my dad is Paul and they had me, then divorced. My mom then married Duane, who became my stepdad. My mom and Duane had my brother Jonathan Duane when I was 10, and this kid lights up my world.

My dad Paul married Patty and had my sister Shianne, she is 14 now. I also have a brother by my dad, his name is Cody and I haven't seen him since he was about a year old.

I have many step siblings by my parents. Duane, my stepdad has 2 other girls and a boy, and Paul has Christy and Kevin with Sherrie who is now and hopefully will forever be his wife. (I hope I'm not forgetting any of my step siblings, and if I am I am sorry)


Okay, so that's the scoop on my siblings and as horrible as it sounds I really do hope that I haven't forgotten anyone! My parents haven't made the best decisions in life, obviously and sometimes you get more babies than you mean to when you make those bad choices! Plus, my dad Paul and I have a strained relationship. We have managed to get closer in my adult years, but years of being apart has caused my relationship with both him and my sister to be less than minimal. I love my sister, but my relationship with her is pretty much text messaging and Facebook. I hope one day it can be better, but we will let it grow in its own time.

Now, the question was do you wish you had more brothers or sisters? I guess that could be interpreted in different ways so I will address both ways that I see the question.

1) I can see the question as being would I rather have more brothers or would I rather have more sisters.... Here is my answer: I have equal amounts of brothers to sisters. I hit the lottery in the sibling department because my siblings are great. They all have their lives pretty much on track, for the older ones and for the younger ones they seem to be doing well too. I couldn't have been more blessed to have the siblings that I have, and the fact that my first sibling is so amazing I definitely can't complain! I definitely wouldn't wish for more brothers over sisters or sisters over brothers. I think I got the perfect mix!

2) I can also see the question as asking have I ever wished for more brothers or sisters! That answer comes in the form of a story!

My mom and Duane started dating when I was three years old. He and his family fell in love with me, and I loved them all right back. By the time I turned four I was living with his parents, and his sister because I loved them so much that I just wanted to stay. It started "can I spend the night?" Eventually one night turned into two, then three, then three would turn into a week. Obviously weeks turned into months, and then years and honestly I am so glad that it ended up that way.

In May of 1988, my mom and Duane got married. From then on they were in trouble. I spent the majority of time playing alone or with my grown up aunt. We would spend time with other family members who had kids, but for the most part it was just me with all the adults. I decided I wanted a brother. I didn't want a sister, but if that was all I could get I would take that. For years I told them to get me a brother or sister, I begged and pleaded until one day when I was 10. Five years into their marriage they sat me down after school one day and told me that I was going to be a big sister. I ran to my room crying and told them that I did not want to be a big sister. Everyone was very confused, but eventually they talked to me and told me that it had to happen, and so it did in June of 1993.

He was maybe a year old here, and yes
he is chewing on his shoe. At least now we know
where he gets his love of music!l

He really was precious, and he still is!

June 12, 1993 was one of the best days of my life! I didn't realize it at the time, but it was a day that was going to change me. That was the day that my mom and dad gave me the best present ever in the form of a little boy they named Jonathan. Oh how I loved that little boy, and to this day I still do. I am just as proud today, if not more to have him as my brother. He was born with a little bit of hair that was blonde when it all finally came in, blue eyes and dimples the size of a small canyon! He was awesome, and I was so proud to have him. He is a little different now. He is tall and thin as a rail, his hair has turned dark and his eyes are brown. He still has those dimples though, and he still makes me just as proud today as he did back then. I love being 10 years older than my brother, I have gotten to watch him grow and become an amazing man. I was there crying the day he started school, and I have been there through many other wonderful times in his life.

My brother has also been there for me in some bad times, and in a lot of good times. He was there when Adriana was born. He was 7, but he loved her to pieces. He has always loved her just the same. He wasn't her biggest fan when she started walking though, she got into all his stuff. They both grew  up though and now they love each other so very much!

This is them together. Adriana probably wasn't even a year old in this picture. This was shortly after he was finished feeding her part of his popsicle. Also, not a huge fan of sharing that popsicle with her. They managed though, and together they finished it off and managed to still love each other through the sharing! These two human beings made a bigger impact on my life than any other, and it has been my priviledge to be part of their lives, and have them as an addition to mine! They definitely enhance everyday of my life!




This though, has been one of the proudest moments I have shared with my baby brother.

This though, has been one of the proudest moments I have shared with my baby brother. I had to be one of the smartest in my family, and I say this because I waited until I was 27 to get married. Now, if I was really smart I would have not got married at all, okay.... really I'm just kidding. I love my husband very much, and wouldn't trade my life for anyone elses! I really did wait til I was 27 though, and every day reminds me that it was worth the wait. Being able to have my brother by my side to give me away made an already wonderful day absolutely amazing! There was no way for me to make a decision between two dads, it was either one or the other OR both. As my grandmother and I discussed all the options and what I could do about my dilema, a light bulb came on. I knew there was no way I was getting married without my brother being in the wedding in some form or fashion, so I came up  with the idea of him giving me away. After all, he really was the male who had the most impact on my life. Don't get me wrong, I love both of my dads, but as I said before, my parents haven't always made the best decisions so my "looking up to a father figure" unfortunately didn't fall on the head of either of them. It was my baby brother that had been the most impactual (my own word) in my life, and he was the one I wanted walking with me into the beginning of my next journey. When I told Mamaw about my plan, we cried together as she told me she thought that was the perfect plan. And it was, he made my day more special than I could have ever expected it to be.

He turned 18 in June, and I thought I would spend the day crying, but I didn't. I can't believe how time flies by, it just doesn't seem real that he should be 18 with a high school diploma but he is. I am so proud of the man he is becoming. He has such a level head and knows pretty much where he wants to be and what he wants to do in life. I am amazed everyday by the person he has grown up to be. I am so blessed to be his big sister, and I cherish it everyday.

Happy New Year

Okay so it's not the end of 2011, or the beginning of 2012 but I am looking so forward to it being!

2011 has been one of the most horrible years that I can remember. Being a person who suffers from depression, I have had many bad years. I guess most of them I have made bad with my lack of trying to beat my depression, my giving into the disease but this year is different. This year has just been horrible, and I wrote about some of that in another blog that I have, titled "Good-bye For Now". Since February 19th of this year I have had to go to 4 funerals. YES, I said FOUR funerals. I have said time and time again that I am the WORST when it comes to death. I don't like it, I'm sure no one does but even if I don't know the person who passed away I can still feel the tears welling up.

My heart absolutely breaks when someone passes away. They don't have to be family or friend, heck they don't even have to be human. I don't like death because I don't do well with change. Death is the most final change ever, there is no coming back. There are no more hugs or kisses, no more returned I love yous! Everyday someone dies, its a horrible fact but it's true. To my knowledge there has never been and will never be a solid day that goes by that someone doesn't lose their life, and I hate that!

I know what it feels like to lose someone you love, someone who has been in your life for so long and now all of a sudden they are gone. It's life altering. I have dealt with this so many times in my life, losing family and friends, young and old. Some have been expected due to disease or age, others have been so unexpected, so sudden. No matter what the circumstance, the sting is all the same. It is so hard to wake up everyday and know that you will never see that person you loved again.

This year alone, as I said I have dealt with this four times. Four deaths, and 3 of them have been family, one a family friend. All the years of my life I have never had to deal with four deaths in one year, until 2011. This year I lost my aunt, that is probably the hardest hit I've ever taken. That February morning remains, and probably always will remain one of the worst days of my life. Two weeks to the day later, I lost my baby cousin. Sweet and precious baby Sydney was 3 years old, and she truly was a miracle. She was a beautiful baby girl that went home to be with the Lord on March 5th of this year. I was hoping that she would be the last. I was hoping that no other hearts in my family would be broken in the course of this year. Unfortunately, that just wasn't to be.

Four short months later, another difficult blow. Adriana's uncle Calvin had a serious skateboard accident, and only days later succumed to his injuries. Calvin lost his battle on July 29, 2011, and my daughter lost her uncle. Her aunt Becky lost her "son" and my friend lost her baby brother. Death tears lives apart, it turns your world upside down and almost stops time. The saying is that death comes in threes, so I figured that surely Calvin would be the last. I didn't know if I could take anymore, I didn't want to have to deal with anymore and certainly didn't want the hearts of those that I love to go through pain either.

Again though, the bad news came. Another loss. September 6th brought a day of such sadness for a family that I love so much. A family friend of our's lost her bestfriend and the father of her children to an accident. We don't know the situation or how it happened, but he collided head on with a bus and lost his life. His wife lost her husband, and her children ages 16, 12, and 10 lost one of the most amazing father's I have ever known of. Again, major heartbreak for people I love.

Through all of this I have had to remember that GOD IS GOOD! It's not always easy to know that he has a purpose for everything, but he does. We will never know the reason for everything he does but no matter what we have to have faith that he is doing what is best for us. Every death has brought me a little closer to him. I'm not saying that these deaths have happened because of me, I don't believe that he was concentrating on me when he took these people from our lives but it has definitely shocked me awake. He shook me to my core and since February I have opened my eyes and my heart to him. I am thankful, and through it all I am blessed! Now though, you can understand why I am ready for a new year!

Thank you Lord for opening the eyes of my heart, even if you had to do it in a way I don't like. I will praise you through all. Thank you Lord for all your blessings on me, for I will never be worthy of any of your mercies!

Introduction to Us

I guess most people that read my blog can see that I am pretty new to the blogging world. I think that I may have forgone some pretty obvious blogging etiquette, and now I need to catch up on it. I know that you have all seen a few pictures of my lovely little family but I never formally introduced them, so I intend to do that now.

My lovely husband, Ronald Phillip Ford.

This is the man that I though would never come. I will never pretend that we are perfect, we are far from it, but I love him. He is my other half. As angry as he can make me, he can make me smile too.

This picture was in 2008 at Fountain Lanes Bowling Alley. We went and bowled and had a lot of fun that day.

Ron was born in Omaha, Nebraska on October 11, 1975, and yes he is a few years older than myself. He was born to Karen and Phil Ford, and Karen is first in line because she is the leader of the pack. Phil was in the Air Force for many years and they traveled a lot, but one thing that always rang true is that SHE is the boss. She and I have had our differences in the past, I mean, it's sometimes hard for two bosses to get along with each other! She is truly one of the best people I know though, she is a very giving person and no matter if it's her last penny, if you need it she will give it to you. Little did she know, that one day she would give her son to ME! He is her oldest child, but his brother Bobby, well right at the moment that's a sore subject and maybe a blog for a different day, or maybe not! Phil is the strong but silent type, he and I get along well though and we really always have. We agree about a lot of things and we like a lot of the same things. He and I can have a conversation even when Ron and I can't! I love my in-laws, it only took a few years! Haha just joking!

This man can make me laugh, and sometimes its at the most inappropriate times, but he does it well. He really has a twisted sense of humor, but if you get it, it can be funny... if you don't get it, you will most likely be offended quite often. He is 35, almost 36 but he hasn't quite figured that out yet. He is still a child in his mind, and that's okay, most of the time. He really was meant for me, even though most days I could choke his life out. I guess God knew I was the only one who would put up with him all the time. He's a pretty lucky guy, and I'm a pretty lucky girl! He is the right to my wrong, the slow to my fast, he is the yin to my yang. He tries his best to keep me grounded but its hard with a woman like me. Yet, as much as we are opposite we are also just alike. We have shared a lot of experiences in life and we share a lot of the same likes and dislikes. He is stubborn, and although I never realized there was anyone out there that could be more stubborn than myself, he has me beat times 100. He is hard headed and to hear him tell it, he is always right at least until we are alone then he will admit that I'm usually the one that is right but being the man he can't admit that in front of people! I love him, and I am glad that he came into my life.

 

Then there is Emily Kasson Buckley-Ford

Emily is Ron's daughter, she is my stepdaughter, but of course.... she is just my daughter. She is going to be 13 in a month and boy do I dread it. She has been talking about being 13 since she was 10 and I can just imagine how it will be when she actually is 13. Emily was born October 27, 1998 just 16 short days after her dad's birthday. He was 23 when she came along, and together they have had it pretty rough. I'd say they hit the jackpot when they found me, kidding really!! This picture was taken in 2008 as well, it was our first family trip to Daytona also the place where Ron and I got engaged (yet again, another story for another time, although I am sure that my blogging friend Alice Wills Gold could appreciate, it is a funny one.) She looks so little here, how quickly they grow up and start looking like grown ups. Its sad really.

Emily and I have definitely had our issues, and I'm sure that they will not subside anytime soon as she is about to hit her teenage years and we all know how teenagers are.... SO much fun. Emily and I have a lot of similarities as well, many of the similarities that I share with her dad and I think that we butt heads often because of that. Emily and I have shared many experiences in life, obviously at different times but still we have been down the same road. Emily's mom decided that 19 was way too young to be a parent. Its pretty sad that you can do what it takes to make a baby, but then you realize that the actual baby just isn't for you. First, she took off with Emily when she was 6 months old and took her back to North Dakota from here in Tennessee. This was the phase that she thought she couldn't be a girlfriend and a mom at the same time, so she left Ron and took Emily with her with nothing more than a note saying she still loved him but couldn't do it anymore. Two and a half years later, the baby sitter in North Dakota said to come get her, or she would call the state. Her mom had taken off and left her for 3 days with the babysitter. So at almost 26 years old, this dad took off and went to North Dakota to get his 3 year old little girl and he has had her since. Men and girls don't often mix and seeing as how he had moved in with his parents in the 2 years since she had been gone, his mom and dad helped him with her.

This is pretty much where his mom and I differed in our beliefs. I know that I am not the alpha and omega of motherhood but I am stern in my mothering beliefs. I have learned from some of the best how to NOT be as a mother, and it was most definitely the best who gave me the best tips on how to be a mother. I've tried from day one to be the best I can be, and I guess I couldn't stand in the shoes of a grandmother who was having to take part in the parenting. In the years since, it has gotten better. Emily has gotten better, as have I. She has become a young lady that I am proud of. She has pretty good grades in school, and she tries hard. She is loving, and loyal and tries her best... well, most of the time, remember she is almost 13!! LOL

Here are some more pictures of Emily!

Next is Adriana MaKayla Kelley:

I will try to keep this one short since I have already introduced Adriana before, plus as much as I love the two people above I love this one just as much. This one is my pride and joy and I bust at the seams when I get a chance to talk about her. I could honestly start talking and never stop, but I don't think many readers could get to the bottom if I talked as much as I could. Adriana was born September 13, 2000 at 8 pm on the dot. The details of her birth should have been enough to show the future character of this wonderful little girl. Her due date being October 4th I had it all planned out. At this point in time I was working at Kay's Ice Cream and decided that I would make my last day September 7th so that I would have almost a month to prepare for my little girl. I worked everyday of my pregnancy until September 7 when I told my friends that I would see them when I came back from maternity leave. I went home that night thinking that I would have a month to relax, and get everything ready for her arrival. Well, she had other plans. September 9th I had a baby shower, and had a great time with family and friends. She was blessed from the beginning because she got so much stuff at that shower. I went home and began to put things together and wash little clothes all the while believing that I still had plenty of time. NOT! Just four days later she decided to make her appearance.

Being 17 and thinking that you still have months to go before you become a mom, then waking up 3 weeks early with obvious signs that it is time is a scary thing. Lucky for me, I had my mom and my grandmother, who was and still is an angel! We got to the hospital around noon, and then Adriana decided that she would get either stubborn or lazy, I haven't decided yet. She was in such a hurry to come into this world that she decided three weeks was too long to wait, but when we get to the hospital she wanted to take her time. Like I said, all of this should have been a preface to what the rest of my life with her was going to be like. After hours of waiting and pushing and crying and saying I couldn't do it, I was holding the most precious person I had ever seen, and now 11 years later she is still that to me.

This picture was made on her first birthday. Shew, that was a rough day. This particular picture was tough to get. I had scheduled an appointment for early in the day to have her pictures made for her first birthday. This was a child who should have been used to this process because she had done this every three months of her first year. We went in at 10:30 to have the pictures made and it was disastrous. She was sleepy and she did not want to cooperate, so the lady found us a spot at 1 o'clock and we went home to lay down for a nap! We went back again, and the second time around wasn't much easier but we got the pictures done and when you see a picture like the one above, the struggle was totally worth the reward. She is my sunshine, and I am excited to see where the next years take us as Mommy and daughter!

Last but certainly not least, there is our wonderful puggie

ZOE:

Since we bought our house in August of 2009 the girls and I have begged Ron to let us get a dog. We all love dogs, but he just doesn't want to get attached to another one because it is so hard when you have to let them go. One day while I was on Facebook I saw a status update from one of my friends from school, her little girl was allergic to dogs and she was having to get rid of her dogs. I text Ron and told him, jokingly that I knew where we could get a dog that was crate trained, house broken, and fixed and asked if we could get her. He said sure, and I was surprised. I messaged Allison and told her that we would gladly take her and give her a good home. I went and picked her up a few days later and she has been blessing us with laughs since then. We love her a lot, and she has made us a better family. Thanks Allison, for giving us our pup! We love and adore her!!

Sorry about the mess, but we live here.

So, this little gem is for my husband. Now I know what you are thinking, "what??" Its true though, sometimes we all need a reminder.

I know that we aren't supposed to air our "dirty laundry" on the internet, and I don't really think that's what I am doing. I have things to say, and being that I am a very hard headed person and he is as well, we don't do good with interpersonal conversation. We try hard and lately it has been better, but it's still not an easy task with two people who are stubborn and need to have the last word.

I find, not too often but sometimes, that our conversations start small and soon blow up into a yelling match and eventually to not speaking to each other at all. I admire those who can have a relationship that just comes easy, those who can sit down and conversate with their other half and it never comes to blows. I wish I could be that person and I know it's inside me, and it's something I've been trying to explore and heal but its a slow process.

With that being said, please don't think that I don't love my husband, we don't have fantastic conversation skills, but I do love him very much. I still feel that he is my other half, and that he is the one that I am supposed to be with, so no worries there, but I do have complaints and I think that this is my release point.

My husband, Ron for those who don't know him, grew up in a military family. All he ever knew was military because it was generational in his family. His dad was Air Force, his dad's dad was Air Force and Navy, and his mom's father was Air Force as well, so I can understand where his strict on the line thinking comes from. I, however, am not from a military family. As a child I was allowed to be just that. I was free to play outside until dark, I played in water from the hose, I rolled in the dirt and I was just allowed to be little. In the summer, there were days with no baths and no bedtimes.

I've heard many stories from his childhood, and many of his sound almost the same as mine so it makes me wonder, "where did this man I married come from?" A child who is taught as a child, grows up to remember and let his children be little~ quote from me!! (dang, I made that sound good, LOL) Anyway, on with it! I know that his childhood wasn't "normal" seeing as how they lived on base most of his life and that is different than us normal civilians. Being on a military base is almost like living in a subdivision with a Homeowner's Association, you have many rules to abide by and if you are caught not following the rules you get written up. So, his parents had to follow every rule to keep his dad out of trouble, therefore the house had to be kept tidy and clean.

I grew up in a house completely opposite. My childhood was made up of playing, doing school work and running. We were always gone doing something. We had church trips, and church services, gatherings with friends and family... we were never home. Our house was not the cleanest, but it certainly wasn't condemnable. Guess what, I'm 28 and I'm still here.... so I'm thinking that if our house stays just a tad bit messy, yet we go out and have fun as a family that we will still be alive as will our children in 10 or 15 years. Maybe I'm being naive, or maybe even a bit crazy but ya know a bag on the floor doesn't bother me, clothes laying around doesn't bother me. A dish or two in the sink until the end of the night, or maybe even until the morning, well I don't believe its going to kill me, and I certainly don't believe it will kill my children. My husband on the other hand, it may kill.

He stresses it. He can't breath or control himself when the smallest thing is laying around. From dawn til dusk, all our house hears is, "clean up this", "pick up this", "wash your dish", "empty the dishwasher", or "clean up after yourselves". If we had a parrot, he would be Ron's bestfriend because Ron wouldn't have to speak, the parrot would do it for him and the only phrases he would know would be the afore mentioned. It is probably best that we don't have a parrot, I wouldn't know which to choke the life out of first, the husband or the bird. I try to explain to my husband that my mother did not name me Suzy, therefore it is impossible for me to be Suzy Homemaker!

I just want my children to be able to breathe, without hearing commands barked at them after every breath. I am a major cheerleader for take responsibility for yourself, I want them to know that they have to clean up after themselves and I want them to take pride in a clean home but I also want them to be able to create memories. I want their memories to include friends, time outside playing, time inside watching tv (not much though), I want them to remember days of riding bikes, and playing school. I want them to remember days that they couldn't walk through their rooms and broken toys were the result of it. I want them to learn the beauty of cleaning up after yourself, and see that if you take care of your things you will have more, and have it longer. I want them to learn their lessons just the way that I did.

Most of all though, I want them to know that their parents love them, and value every single minute that we get with them. I want my children to know that life is so very short. Our time here is so limited and I sure wouldn't want one of their last memories of us to be us yelling because a shoe was left in the floor..... it's just not that important. So you will have to excuse our mess as we live our lives, even if you are my husband or their dad!! ;) And you will have to come to understand that even though we may not pick up as soon as we mess up, we are not trying to aggravate you or stress you out. We don't want you to clean up after us, or be our slave.... we want to make memories, and we want you to be a part of them. We have the rest of our lives with Mr. Clean, we want our time with Mr. DAD!!!

WE LOVE YOU Ronald!

In this Home...

I am totally addicted to a little site called http://www.pinterest.com/, some of you may know of it. Its a site for pin making and sharing, and its wonderful. I love looking at all the pins, and repinning them to special Pin boards labeled to my liking. I can also share the pins I find with friends, or add tags! I love it.

On my Pin Board labeled Inspiration you will find a couple of pins that say "In this Home" and include a list of the things that people do in their homes. I love these, and looking at them gave me an idea to blog these pins. No one really wants to know what WE do in our home, so I will list the things on the pins!

"In This House"

We Trust God
Think Good Thoughts                                                           

Try to do Better

Say I'm sorry
Believe in Grace
Love One Another
Show Respect
Never Give Up

Pray Always

"In This Home"

We Laugh Loudly
We make Mistakes
We say I'm Sorry
We are Patient
We Cherish Friends
We Honor Family
We are Grateful
We Share
We love deeply

I love these, they make me want to do better. They make me want to have a family that does all these things. I try to be the best person I can, and definitely the best mother and wife. I try to be the best at everything, daughter, granddaughter, sister and friend, but I fail. Everyday I fail to be the best at something, because if I were the best at everything I would be perfect, and that is not part of God's plan. I hope I can look at these daily and see something that I could do better! I hope you all do too!

Where were you....

.... When the world stopped turning that September day?.... an amazing song, penned and vocalized by Alan Jackson.

Photo Courtesy
of Blogcritic.com

It was a wildly popular song released in November of 2001 in response to the tragedy known as 9-11. There were many songs written about the tragedy in this time, but to me this one is the most profound. This is not a kick their a$$ kind of song, its not a politically driven song.... its a song of remembrance, and at that time we needed something like this!

This Sunday will be the 10th anniversary of this horrible tragedy, and its very evident everywhere you look. Every channel you flip to is doing a story, and the songs begin to replay and a mixture of emotions well up in me. A few words that come to mind when I think of the 10 years since the tragedy are:


                                      Proud
                                      Thankful
                                      Amazed
                                      United
                                      Strong
                                      Honored
                                      Saddened
                                       Blessed


"Did you burst out in pride
For the red white and blue
The heroes who died just doing what they do
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself to what really matters"


I don't know how many do, I would hope everyone but I remember that day.


18 years old with a baby girl turning ONE in two days. I know that no matter what, I would remember the tragedy of 9/11 but being where I was that day, with who I was with makes it even more memorable for me. At this time in my life I was living with my aunt Tammy. She was gracious enough to take Adriana, Jeremy and I in when no one else would. There was a little building on the property where she lived, she and her husband helped us build a little house out of it. Adriana had a little bedroom, Jeremy and I did and our closet and there was a living room. If we needed to use the bathroom or wanted to eat we had to walk to their house to do so.

On September 11, 2001 we woke up about 8:45 or 8:50 and we were hungry and so was our little girl. We walked up to the house to find Tammy on the couch with silent tears rolling down her cheeks, and wondering what was going on. She began to tell us that one of the towers had been hit and that many had lost their lives. I sat down beside her to watch the news coverage on WBIR, as they had broken into whatever show she had been watching. No sooner than I sat down, Adriana on my lap the second plane struck the 2nd tower and we were dumbfounded.

In that moment there was no catching your breath, there were no words. Only an empty gaping hole for those who you know have lost their lives and for those who just lost their family member and the steep realization that America was most definitely under attack.

When the first plane hit, we thought maybe it was a mistake, maybe a heart attack or stroke.... maybe the pilot had simply lost control. When the second plane hit though, we knew there was no way it was a mistake. It was very dilberate and we were vulnerable, our walls and defenses were down and we had been attacked.

That day, much to the chagrin of the democrats of America, George W. Bush became a Wartime President. He had to make the split second decision for all of us, would we fold under the evil that had just attacked our great country or would we stand and fight? Although no one wants to go to war, we couldn't stand by as a nation, a nation of free will and fighting for what we believe in, and watch as they took us down one by one. There was no giving in, we had to fight and on March 20, 2003 Operation Iraqi Freedom began. Unfortunately 8 years later our troops are still there, we are still fighting for our freedoms and for the freedoms of those who didn't ask for any of this to happen. Threats and fears are always looming, but United we stand.... Divided we fall.

We have been a very divided country since 2008. We united in 2001, we banded together in 2003, and we started to fall apart in 2008.... Hopefully in 2012, we will rid ourselves of the issue that divides our country and we will be able to stand together as one nation UNDER GOD again, until then I will be praying that we can stay safe and that we can take care of our country!

"Where were you when the world stopped turning, that September day?"

{Started this blog September 6, 2011... couldn't focus to finish til today September 11, 2011.... God Bless America, my HOME sweet HOME. We will never forget!}

Come on Knox County

Okay, so I'm going to climb atop my soapbox for a minute. I may fall off as I kick and scream and throw my tantrum but I am OVER IT!!!! You want to know what IT is, you say?? Let me show you...

I HATE HATE HATE school coupon books, and 23 years later I would think that Knox County would too. I can honestly say though that if EVERY school in the county didn't sell them, I may not be so loathsome of them.

I know every August/September, that I am going to have to deal with this travesty of a fundraiser so that my children can have pencils and tshirts and pizza parties.... and honestly, I am sick of it!

The school coupon book fundraiser got its start in 1989, and it continues today, its 23rd year. The coupon books have always been 10 dollars and though the coupon merchants get better, the coupons do not. The teachers (God love their hearts of gold) tell our children to tell us that  we can make back our money by using only a couple of the coupons in the books and that is also how we are supposed to market the books to other people! In all honesty, no one really wants to buy the coupon book, they do however want their child to be able to get the prizes and go to the parties. Ugh!

This year if you sell 7 coupon books at Halls Middle School, you get to go to the concert and apparently there is going to be a "celebrity"! The girls are both JACKED UP wanting to meet this celebrity, little do they know that A) it's either someone that is of no significance, and they won't even know their name yet the school will convince them that this person is a celebrity, even though they have never heard of them OR B) they will be a local "celebrity" that we could stroll down the street and meet any day! Either way though, its important that they sell 7 coupon books so they can go to this concert, they don't realize though that to go to the concert we would have to sell 14 books collectively. I don't see that happening! Not with everyone else in the county selling.

I really am tempted to email Knox County and ask if they can please come up with something else to do next year!! We parents are tired of buying 5, 7, 10 coupon books so our children can miss class and take time away from LEARNING to go to a party with all their friends. We just want to sell candy bars, who doesn't love candy bars. We can sell candy bars to family in other towns, or cities, or states even because candy bars are universal.... coupon books are NOT!! Please Knox County... get with the program!!