Sorry about the mess, but we live here.

So, this little gem is for my husband. Now I know what you are thinking, "what??" Its true though, sometimes we all need a reminder.

I know that we aren't supposed to air our "dirty laundry" on the internet, and I don't really think that's what I am doing. I have things to say, and being that I am a very hard headed person and he is as well, we don't do good with interpersonal conversation. We try hard and lately it has been better, but it's still not an easy task with two people who are stubborn and need to have the last word.

I find, not too often but sometimes, that our conversations start small and soon blow up into a yelling match and eventually to not speaking to each other at all. I admire those who can have a relationship that just comes easy, those who can sit down and conversate with their other half and it never comes to blows. I wish I could be that person and I know it's inside me, and it's something I've been trying to explore and heal but its a slow process.

With that being said, please don't think that I don't love my husband, we don't have fantastic conversation skills, but I do love him very much. I still feel that he is my other half, and that he is the one that I am supposed to be with, so no worries there, but I do have complaints and I think that this is my release point.

My husband, Ron for those who don't know him, grew up in a military family. All he ever knew was military because it was generational in his family. His dad was Air Force, his dad's dad was Air Force and Navy, and his mom's father was Air Force as well, so I can understand where his strict on the line thinking comes from. I, however, am not from a military family. As a child I was allowed to be just that. I was free to play outside until dark, I played in water from the hose, I rolled in the dirt and I was just allowed to be little. In the summer, there were days with no baths and no bedtimes.

I've heard many stories from his childhood, and many of his sound almost the same as mine so it makes me wonder, "where did this man I married come from?" A child who is taught as a child, grows up to remember and let his children be little~ quote from me!! (dang, I made that sound good, LOL) Anyway, on with it! I know that his childhood wasn't "normal" seeing as how they lived on base most of his life and that is different than us normal civilians. Being on a military base is almost like living in a subdivision with a Homeowner's Association, you have many rules to abide by and if you are caught not following the rules you get written up. So, his parents had to follow every rule to keep his dad out of trouble, therefore the house had to be kept tidy and clean.

I grew up in a house completely opposite. My childhood was made up of playing, doing school work and running. We were always gone doing something. We had church trips, and church services, gatherings with friends and family... we were never home. Our house was not the cleanest, but it certainly wasn't condemnable. Guess what, I'm 28 and I'm still here.... so I'm thinking that if our house stays just a tad bit messy, yet we go out and have fun as a family that we will still be alive as will our children in 10 or 15 years. Maybe I'm being naive, or maybe even a bit crazy but ya know a bag on the floor doesn't bother me, clothes laying around doesn't bother me. A dish or two in the sink until the end of the night, or maybe even until the morning, well I don't believe its going to kill me, and I certainly don't believe it will kill my children. My husband on the other hand, it may kill.

He stresses it. He can't breath or control himself when the smallest thing is laying around. From dawn til dusk, all our house hears is, "clean up this", "pick up this", "wash your dish", "empty the dishwasher", or "clean up after yourselves". If we had a parrot, he would be Ron's bestfriend because Ron wouldn't have to speak, the parrot would do it for him and the only phrases he would know would be the afore mentioned. It is probably best that we don't have a parrot, I wouldn't know which to choke the life out of first, the husband or the bird. I try to explain to my husband that my mother did not name me Suzy, therefore it is impossible for me to be Suzy Homemaker!

I just want my children to be able to breathe, without hearing commands barked at them after every breath. I am a major cheerleader for take responsibility for yourself, I want them to know that they have to clean up after themselves and I want them to take pride in a clean home but I also want them to be able to create memories. I want their memories to include friends, time outside playing, time inside watching tv (not much though), I want them to remember days of riding bikes, and playing school. I want them to remember days that they couldn't walk through their rooms and broken toys were the result of it. I want them to learn the beauty of cleaning up after yourself, and see that if you take care of your things you will have more, and have it longer. I want them to learn their lessons just the way that I did.

Most of all though, I want them to know that their parents love them, and value every single minute that we get with them. I want my children to know that life is so very short. Our time here is so limited and I sure wouldn't want one of their last memories of us to be us yelling because a shoe was left in the floor..... it's just not that important. So you will have to excuse our mess as we live our lives, even if you are my husband or their dad!! ;) And you will have to come to understand that even though we may not pick up as soon as we mess up, we are not trying to aggravate you or stress you out. We don't want you to clean up after us, or be our slave.... we want to make memories, and we want you to be a part of them. We have the rest of our lives with Mr. Clean, we want our time with Mr. DAD!!!

WE LOVE YOU Ronald!