I guess today's blog is about how NOT in the mood to blog that I am. I truly feel as if my brain is empty today. I feel like I haven't slept in days and I could just lay my head on my desk and go to sleep. Unfortunately, I don't believe that the powers that be would enjoy paying me to sleep, and I'm pretty sure it would be in bad form for a customer to walk in to a teller snoring on the counter beside her computer.
Unfortunately, my job is one where you can't really make up busy work. I am so glad that I got the opportunity to have this job, and I am proud of myself for coming in and learning and doing what I do. With that being said, since we are a small bank with only a few loyal branch customers, it can make working from 8:15 in the morning til 6 in the evening feel like an eternity. I NEED energy. I try not to just sit in my chair for all these hours, there are times when I get up. Most of the time I make the popcorn, and sometimes I'll scan the work, sometimes to go to the bathroom, or to fix my lunch. Sometimes I wish I could run around the building but considering we work out of a smaller than normal mobile home, I don't think it would do me much good.
For almost two years, when I was tired at work (Weigels) I would grab an energy drink and although they never actually did anything for me, it made me feel better that they were at arms length and I got through the day! I've found in my four months at this job, when I am getting sleepy all I can do is stuff my face. When I look in the mirror I see proof of this dilemma. If the mirror isn't a harsh enough foe, I was informed yesterday that I should not think highly of myself seeing as how I am a baboon. Sccccrrrrreeeech... that's the wheels coming to a grinding halt. I know that I should NEVER let an outsider affect how I feel about me, but when I am already feeling like a PIG, baboon is a little too harsh.
(I just fed my face with a couple handfulls of Skittles, this is what I'm talking about!)
I have never been one for self esteem, although I've been told my whole life that I am beautiful and I should feel as such. Ha, Ha... I just wish people could understand how hard that is. I wish I could look in the mirror and say "DANG, I look good." but I can promise you that is something that will never happen. Anyone who knows me knows that I can not look in the mirror and say that I am beautiful, hot, sexy or skinny... and even if I was any of those things it would still be impossible for me.
That horrible slap in the face yesterday, well... it stung. Its a rare occasion when a man will tell a woman she is ugly. I mean, for a man to say something like that the woman has to have like one tooth, a rattail, pit hair and she generally has to have a muffin top. Although I have heard of men who just love all those attributes and HOORAY for those men.... not too shallow! Oh, well... on I go. I guess yesterday I kind of asked for it because as I was verbally sparring with a guy I have never physically met in my life, I told him that he was jealous of my husband because he couldn't have a wife as hot as me. I know that most of you who know me are saying, "Um, what did she say?" I totally didn't mean it, I was just trying to get at him for being so horrible to my sweet husband.
I guess on the West Coast their women look different. This person lives in Seattle, and lets leave his description with 'he is a horrible rotten person that I wouldn't trust to be one of my friends.' I know that everyone right now is saying, "don't be so mean, Michelle. We are supposed to love everyone." For the most part I do, but some people you just can't help but want to choke. This master of everything in the world, who apparently is smarter than everyone in the world informed me yesterday that we Tennessee women MAY be hot, IF baboons are considered hot. NOW, I know that he was just trying to (get my goat) as the saying goes, just as I had been when I said he was jealous but his comment hit below belt. Below is his comment in its entirety:
here comes the fun sponge. yes its true missery does love company. hi mrs hypocrisy, you know everytime you comment you just make yourself look dumber and dumber. ronnie jokes and its ok, jeremy jokes (its called sarcasm) and its not ok, hypocrite. i didnt call him an asshole, he said it about himself. you look dumb when you dont check your facts. he wishes harm on a stranger but when harm comes to your family you want strangers to support your cause. hypocrite you preach about how you guys can express your opinions but when someone expresses theirs you get pissed, hypocrite. isnt this whole facebook thing about someone says something then others respond. do you want the whole world to agree with you or just shut up. thats called being ignorant. its psychology 101, those who bring everyone down do so because they cant lift themselves up, look into it. there is a difference between tennessee hot, also known as baboon hot, and usa hot so i get how you would think about yourself so highly, but you might want to keep your voice down around other parts of the country. another tip is men dont like when their wives try to stand up for them in front of other men because it makes them look weak so just on that point alone your right, other wives and girlfriends are not so needy, bossy, and controlling like you. bobby and i are good friends and have been for a long time. its called forgiveness, not being filled with hate, the power of positivity, and moving on. now i know why my grocery store is all out of cheerios because from the looks of it you eat alot. so your last line is asking me to keep my opinion to myself, wow the hypocrisy. the worst part is its right in front of your face and you dont see it. his brother doesnt like him and his uncle lost respect for him and im the only one trying to point it out.
I know that I am not a hypocrite, so those jabs don't hurt me. I will not say I'm perfect, but I know that I am not a hypocrit. When you are already iffy about yourself, being called a baboon does not help you to feel beautiful. Oh well, I guess being a baboon is better than being the rear of a donkey!!
Well, so much for not wanting to blog. My not wanting to blog, turned into a huge blog about a little of everything and a bunch of nothing. Considering that no one in my house will stop talking to me and they won't leave me alone, I have to be done for the night.
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